It's been so long!

A family friend, David, is over right now and is watching stupid videos with my brothers in the living room so I decided to take the opportunity to come and write some more.


I've been going to both the high school and college groups at my church as I'm in that "in between stage" and so I'm going to High School "Retreat" in Big Bear tomorrow! I am super psyched. Like 25 kids and young adults are going to be squishing into one cabin so it should be interesting! Ahem.

I've been hanging out with friends, going to church a lot, crushing on a certain someone like mad, and just having a lazy but good summer.

The same day we go off to Big Bear my mom is being flown out to NYC to visit her sisters and celebrate her birthday. I am very happy for her but also insanely jealous. Although I'm sure camp will be just as fun... right?


We get back from Big Bear on the first of August and my mom gets back the next day and then my family and I go up to Northern CA for a sort of family vacation on the 6th to the 16th. (Also to celebrate my mom's bday which is the 15th) We'll be going to Redding but stopping in San Fransisco (woot-woot) and once in Redding we'll be see some of the Redwoods and my parents are going to be going to this school of ministry up at this major church called Bethel. My brothers and I will be able to see the campus and all but as we're not going to the conference/school we can just chill at the hotel or go sight seeing on our own. Apparently there's a water park near by. That should be fun... I've never been to a water park.

Okay... now they are watching weird as heck Japanese game shows. I am blasting music so I don't have to hear it. So freaking weird.

Well I guess that's all I really have to say for now. David's going with me to check out my college group tonight which should be interesting. I love college group. A lot. *cough*

Hi again.

Well, I think we pulled off another good Thanksgiving. The house was clean, the food was great, and everyone got along. (mostly) Last night I saw Julie and Julia again, this time at the $3 theater by my house with my mom. It made me think of two things: of all the awesome food I'd be helping to make for Thanksgiving, and of how much I suck at blogging. Oh well.

Anyways,

Tonight I saw Where The Wild Things Are with my brothers at the same theater. Bizarre movie. Kinda cute. Kinda sad. Mostly strange. I liked the whole imaginative thing, and how cute the little boy was and his relationship with the monsters, but all in all you couldn't tell if they liked him and wanted him to help them(they made him king fyi), or if they were just waiting for him to screw up so they could eat him....

yeah.

I've realized that there are some things you don't need to share with people. Some things you don't want to blog. For example, if you are feeling particularly sappy on a holiday, telling your friends of the opposite gender how much you appreciate them and etc isn't always the best idea. They tend to not know what to do with it. The best thing to do is generally to hold it in, (Unless you're a guy and this is your gal friends) and instead be all, Happy _____ dudes!

Much better idea.

Also, my mom (when she was mad at me today) told me that "it didn't really matter what I posted on the internet, people have their own posts and friends and don't care about that sort of thing. They care about friendly and confident people." I'm not entirely sure what I did that brought on this conversation, but she does have a point. At the moment I'm pretty friendless really. Sure, I have a bunch of people I know who I call my friends, and I see them every so often and talk to them online and etc., but real-true friends that really-truly care about me, and want to talk to me about my life and hang out and do real-true friend stuff? Yeah, I'm pretty short on those right now. That seems to be my undoing. Now, I'm not saying that none of my friends care about me or anything, they do. I do have a few friends that I talk to regularly online and who check in on me and cheer me up. But right now, I need to find more than that. I'm also not saying that I give up those friends, heck no. I want to keep them and spend more time with them too. But I need more friends who will spend time with me, and actually want to.

To be a friend, one has to be friend-ly. Funny that. I'm friendly enough. I think. But I'm also quiet. And unconfident. As Emma Pillsbury from Glee once said, "There is nothing sexier then confidence."

That's just my luck.

My lack of confidence in myself has led to ruining chances of friendships and relationships with people. So many times. So. Many. Times.

That has got to stop. Now.

Alright, so here's my challenge. I need confidence to be...sexy? Ha. Like that's ever going to happen. No, I need confidence to be friendly and make friends. So it seems I have my challenge. More of a quest really. A quest to find confidence in order to gain friends! Huzzah!

Wish me luck!

More later. I promise.

-Lauren

And another month goes by...

Wow. It's almost been a month since my last post... yeah I'm not so good at these resolutions.

It's kinda funny though. Writing a blog is like a message in a bottle kind of thing. You kinda just throw something out there and wonder if anyone's going to read it. (not that this is a cry for help...)

I have been busy with redoing Algebra 1 (oh yeah, happyfuntimes!) I have to have it finished by Oct. 30th, then I "get" to finish Geometry before going on to Algebra 2... (yippie??) This charter school apparently thinks I enjoy math, allot. Actually, what happened was when I was transferring to a charter school from basic homeschool, I couldn't find enough math from each kind to satisfy them... therefore I have to redo a bunch to satisfy their appetites for mathly knowledge. (Mathly should totally be a word.)

Literature is pretty cool. Read a play called Tartuffe, which was pretty funny (and the whole thing rhymed!) and now we're reading The Three Musketeers. It's pretty great so far, but it's a heck of a long book. Good thing we don't have to do it all in one week, but that wouldn't be impossible for me... (Not trying to brag, but I do devour books pretty quickly..) Oh and I have to write a play for theater credit. Like I said, Literature, and books are allot more of my thing. Writing a play is hecka hard. So I decided to go with something on the easy side. It's called Cinderface, basically a modern Cinderella story with a guy instead of a girl. I know, I know. Anyways, speaking of theater...

Theater's going well, didn't get a lead (oh shock-surprise) but my character should be pretty interesting. Actually, tonight we're having character interviews... and because my character was written into the script (that's never a good sign btw) I get to make up virtually anything I want about my character (which is pretty awesome actually) because it's not like I'm on stage that often or say that much anyway. I could be married to the king of Siberia, a double agent from the Soviet, or pretty much anything I want. It's not like the audience will ever know anyways. (Mwahahaha)

This whole end-of-October deadline has kept me pretty confined to my house (being a homeschooler) which sucks. I haven't seen my friends (outside of theater and history/lit class) in over 2 weeks. (Not like they invited me to hang out anyway... but even if they did I probably would've had to turn them down. Which prospect's sadder? you tell me.)

One of my close friends, Kehau, is having a Broadway-costume themed birthday party the 30th, which should be allot of fun. Speaking of which, Halloween's coming up... I'm thinking of being Little Red Riding Hood. I have a black skirt and shirt/vest thing which is pretty cool, but would be mostly covered by my awesome red hooded cape I have. Sadly, I have no idea where I'd wear this costume as I have no plans (so far) for Halloween. I'll let ya'll know as things develop.

Well gotta get back to the books (oh joy!)

Peace, out.

Here it goes..

Well, I finally got my party pretty much figured out, and it looks like I have allot of help from my friends so that's cool. More on that later.

Tonight was driver's training again, and because of that I missed my friend's return from Turkey (see earlier post) Oh well, we'll see eachother eventually.

I'm kinda ticked about stuff right now, which isn't exactly a vacationing mood, I mean considering that we're going to San Diego tomorrow. Agh...oh well.. we have to get up like at 5 or something ridiculous like that because my parents had the idea for us to take a bus tour of San Diego sometime in the morning, so we have to be there in time.. Blech.

Oh well, I'll write more perhaps on Saturday when we come back to home base before going out again until Monday. *sigh*

-Lauren

Party Time!

Well, although my 18th birthday was more than a month ago, my parents couldn't seem to fit a party in until 2 weeks(ish) from now. I sent out invites to my friends a week or so ago, but now I am having trouble deciding what the general theme/(thing everyone does) should be. The people coming range from 14 years of age-middle age adults. (although most of the guests are 16-20)

I like the idea of having stringing lights/stars and streamers, but that's about all I can figure out at the moment..

Dancing would be amazingly fun, but I'm not sure if I could get that to work out, I mean the backyard is big enough I suppose, but as to having the right music or dj (is it too late to get one of those anyway? I have no idea..) is just, bleh.. besides, I'm unsure as to whether or not my friends would dance or not.. :/ It's something I enjoy, but if none of my guests (AKA: Friends) are dancing then..what fun is that? Also I can't come up with any ideas for games, or if we should or shouldn't watch a movie, and what food we should have or whatever... I'm helpless!

I usually enjoy planning this kind of thing, but I'm kind of freaking out over the fact that I'm mixing different groups of friends, and over the whole my-house-isn't-very-big issue. *sigh*

If anyone out there is reading this... do YOU have an idea? ( I did just message some people for ideas, but believe me, I can use all the help I can get. )

More packing-Lauren out!

Turkish Friends, and Vacations

Well, I got a message from my good friend Derin from Turkey today, (he's half Turkish, and lives here in SoCal most of the year but he and his parents go to Istanbul every summer) he's coming home on Wednesday! I'm excited to see him again, and his message was very entertaining and mentioned us and the rest of the gang hanging out the night of his return... sadly I have driving school that night, and I leave for my family's mini vacation of our own Thursday. :/ Sad day. We still don't know how long we'll be gone, could be anywhere from until Saturday to Monday. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy spending time with my family, and the idea of a mini vacation (to who knows where) sounds fun... but I live with my family 24/7, and I haven't seen Derin since June. :/

Oh well, I explained the whole situation to him and he said not to worry and that we'd see eachother eventually, which is true... but yeah, still bummed about not seeing him with the rest of the gang at either In-N-Out or Chipoltle (Two of his fav restaurants, neither that are available in Turkey) cause I know it'll be a fun time. I know what you're thinking, patience is a virtue, spend time with your family, don't feel sorry for yourself, and yadayadayada. :P I know, I know, I'll enjoy my trip as it is, and see Derin when I get back, happy? Besides, once he's back in the states we can text again ;)

-Lauren out-

Don't give up on love?

Oh look, I have a place to write down my feelings...thats...nice...

Talked, listened to conversations about, and thought about love allot lately. Sometimes I wonder about it, about if it's even worth thinking about yet? I mean, I don't want to ruin any friendships of mine trying to find it, and well that hasn't worked out so far anyways, so what's the point? (I'm not usually this "emo" just kinda depressed a bit now) so yeah, I may even change my mind tomorrow (cause thats the way I work...) but for now I'm done with it. Doesn't mean I'm giving up on love itself (thats for you Nolan ;P) but I mean that I'm done looking for it.. it's about time it started looking for me. ;P Well that's all for now, I'd better go to bed, get to teach sunday school tomorrow, yipee! (hear the sarcasm?) Goodnight!